I’m a fast reader. It’s honestly a problem because I get so excited reading things that I read them and comprehend nothing because my eyes are moving at lightning speed. That carries over into me reading the Word (although I must admit there are many days I’m not too excited to read God’s Word.) Nonetheless, my eyes still glaze over the words and don’t allow them to carry the impact I know they have.
So during June I decided I was going to write out three verses a day from Philippians. My church in Auburn went through a series on Philippians this summer, so I thought it would be appropriate timing to test this out and see if it helped me comprehend the Word more deeply.
On day two of this, I wrote out Philippians 1:6 which says this: “Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
My heart felt a little heavy soaking that in because it made me question if I was confident in the Lord. Did I truly believe that He would carry out the good work He had started in me? I found myself shaking my head, unable to trust that the Lord would allow me to feel secure in Him alone.
But I wanted to believe those words, so I decided I would memorize them and repeat them daily to myself and remind myself of the ways He has never abandoned me.
In this in between season of just graduating and recently moving to a new city I’ve felt a little insecure in my identity and how the Lord will provide as I transition into this next season. For the most part, I enjoy routine and stability of schedule. I especially enjoy being busy and now I feel like my world has shifted a little bit.
I keep watching the Lord answer my questions and prayers about the next season, and it’s funny because He honestly doesn’t have to answer me at all. I think what He keeps trying to tell me is that He finishes what He begins. There are no incomplete projects left lying around and forgotten about in the kingdom of God.
Can I be honest and say I don’t want to trust Him? It feels a lot easier for me to keep people at arm’s distance without allowing them to see any vulnerability. My friends know this to be true; it’s really hard to earn my trust but once earned it’s rarely lost. So why is it that I can’t let God be someone I fully trust?
It lies in the fact that I have so many hopes and expectations and prayers lying at His feet that I don’t know if He’ll answer. I’m giving Him the vulnerability He wants, but I lay down everything and then run. I don’t want to wait and see what happens because what if I’m disappointed?
I’m smirking as I’m writing this because I know the Lord is laughing. I may end up being disappointed, but it’s because His ways are better. I know He is preparing me for something greater even if I can’t see the bigger picture in this moment.
In a Desiring God article I read the other day, it said “God didn’t get his people part way out of Egypt or halfway through the Red Sea.” He’s not leaving you or me behind. He finishes what He starts.
So will I choose to believe that I can be confident in Him, knowing He will finish what He’s started? Yes. He’s parted every sea, fought every battle, conquered my fears for me and today I choose to be brave, knowing He makes no mistakes. I will choose to believe that daily, even when I don’t want to.
In your season, whatever it is, allow God to show up and do what He has always done. Take a step back to trust that He is working for your good and is weaving together a story You could have never dreamed of yourself. Even in the midst of hard seasons, there is so so so much good.
Appreciate where He has you in the here and now because you’ll never get this moment back. Be confident in this. In Him.