I work at an addiction treatment center and it’s pretty much my favorite place in the entire world. Women walk through our doors to receive the help they need. None of them look alike. None of them have the same story, but they have a common thread: addiction wreaking havoc on their lives.
I’ve had people I love dearly struggle with addiction, so it feels like no coincidence that the Lord led me to this place. It’s also a faith-based nonprofit, so we get to talk about Jesus with the women that want to hear. And in 2021, many of the women DO want to hear.
In 2020, we had 16 baptisms. As of the end of May, we’ve already had 60+ baptisms. The Lord’s really moving. I have become friends with one of the women that has been baptized this year. Something she said to me made me think maybe she had been baptized before, so I asked “How many times have you been baptized?”
And she replied 6 times. I asked my new friend why she felt like she constantly needed to get baptized over and over and she said, “I always mess up. I get sober and then I relapse. I am become a great mother again and then I mess up and lose my kids. I become good enough and then I’m not.”
I explained to her that isn’t the way God’s love works. We don’t have to be good enough and earn His love, we just have to believe that His Son truly came to save us from our sins and died on the Cross for us. My new friend said she’s starting to see that.
What she said struck a chord in me though, I began thinking about scenarios where I felt like I had really done wrong and didn’t measure up enough to have God’s love and forgiveness. I’m so glad I have a Father that doesn’t want me to earn His Love, rather He wants to walk alongside me through the good, bad and ugly.
Lately, there has been some really high highs and some low lows. I feel like a rag doll being tossed all over the place. Even in the midst of such a strange season, I think about how I would’ve handled this 6 years ago before my relationship with the Lord truly became my priority. I would’ve felt such shame in mistakes and hardships, and even though sometimes I still feel that I am quickly reminded by my Father that my story is covered in redemption. No matter what. I hope my new friend sees that too now.
Do you ever feel like you need to earn God’s affection? In what ways do we need to let go of trying to measure up and fall into the arms of our Heavenly Father knowing He loves us regardless?
thanks for reading, friend.