a letter to the girl going through sorority recruitment.

Dear friend going through sorority recruitment,

I’m thinking about you and praying for you during this time. Every August, my mind always jumps to thoughts about those going through recruitment so soon. It’s already crazy enough to be moving to a new city and beginning your college career, but to also throw in recruitment can and may be overwhelming.

It’s okay if you get to school and you feel overwhelmed. In fact, that’s pretty normal.

The years leading up to graduating from high school, I was so excited thinking about moving to a new city and making new friends in a sorority. I had Pinterest boards dedicated to these new adventures and would daydream about all the fun that would come once I left for college.

I expected recruitment to be a breeze. I thought I was pretty easy to talk to, good grades, and would get along to whoever I talked to. And 6 years later I still think that was pretty true of me at the time, yet recruitment was one of the hardest weeks of my life. It wasn’t easy or glamorous, quite frankly I was cut from almost every single sorority.

By the end of the week, I felt like something was wrong with me. Why did they not want me? Why was I cut? What was wrong with me? Why were girls telling me they could see me fitting in and that they loved me, then I wasn’t receiving invitations back for the next round?

Most girls have a few options on the last day and are holding their breath on bid day that they got their top choice, but while we were waiting to open our bids I already knew what was inside of mine because I had only one option left.

But you wouldn’t have known that from the pictures I posted or the way I acted after that week was over. I didn’t tell a soul that I got cut from almost every single sorority. No one really knew how upset I was. I pretended like the week went exactly like I wanted to.

And I’m telling you this because there will be lots of girls that have the same story as mine during your week of recruitment. Almost every single person gets cut from a sorority, lots of people don’t end up with their first choice. Feelings get hurt. And the cheesy part of me wants to say “and it all works out for the best!” but we all fear rejection and when it happens and you’re already in a really vulnerable place then it feels personal.

My best piece of advice for you is that be yourself the whole week and walk away from the experience knowing you didn’t change yourself to win the approval of others. When there are thousands of girls rushing it really isn’t personal when you get cut, but I know it hurts.

And it turns out I ended up exactly where God had me and looking back I’m glad He took away every option so I had no choice but to end up where He had me.

I ended up being the Vice President of New Member Education for my sorority, leading 90 sweet freshmen (and sophomores!) in their first semester of being in a sorority. And so many of them had the same experience that I had. Feelings hurt, putting on a brave face, and trying to pretend like it didn’t happen.

And then I watched some of them eventually join the Executive Board and make all sorts of friends in the sorority. I also saw a few be bold enough to say that the sorority experience just wasn’t for them.

And that’s okay. You don’t have to be in a sorority to have fun in college. There are a million ways to get involved and meet people. It’s okay to say this isn’t for me.

If it happens to you, if you don’t end up where you wanted to be, it’s okay to be upset. I promise you, there will be others around you that feel the same way. But can I tell you that God will build up character in the unfamiliar and in the uncomfortable? He will stretch You and grow You even in a sorority. God can use all things and all stories.

And if you have a really tough week and are struggling, please feel free to message me, whether I know you or not. I would love to pray for you and encourage you and remind you that you’re worthy.

I’m cheering you on.



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